London Correspondent
I was out with my advertising accounts manager late last week and we have never been out on the prowl together before so I decided that it would be a good idea to hunt! He’s a young lad of about 22 however he did admit to me that he has dabbled in the company ink before; and cougar ink too!
So it was game on from the start and we started off in the posh banker bar ‘Coq D’argent’ – Bank, London. Where the only cougars available appeared to be attached onto the arms of older men, and some of the men were giving Ken (name changed) the dirty eye… So we moved on, and a few beers in dive pubs later we ended up at ‘Amuse Boche’ – Parsons Green, London, where from the outside we could see that there was some top notch cougars ready for action.
We went in and ordered a bottle of champagne (cougar bait), and instantly we had a group of 3 cougars talking to us. Now these were CIT’s (cougars in training) as they were all only 33, however since I was inebriated I was in no position to argue, and I moved along as they were obviously keen. Lucy (name not changed) had picked me out from the start and we started to really get into each other, and soon we were off to a nightclub to dance.
Ken left early as he had unfortunately not been able to close on any cougars, however Lucy and I went back to her place and…. Nothing! We fooled around a bit, but there was no action! What was happening? I passed out, and the next thing I know it’s 9AM and I am late for a meeting, I attempt to try and get a little something before I leave but unfortunately I flounder and go home with nothing. Lucy says “can I have your number? I’d really like to continue this sometime?!”. I pick up her phone and flip it open and I see a picture of a guy standing on the beach, shirt off, as the wallpaper!... I am guessing this was not her brother!
I have not heard from Lucy. Ken says I “couldn’t close”. I think I have been the victim of ‘The Cougar Rentals Agency’ – When a cougar takes a guy home even when she has a boyfriend, but wants a little tickle and no cigar, then the prey is thrown back half eaten!
Damn!
