Cami: Urbancougar of the Month, March 2009

Cami Sheffield

Hometown: Seattle, WA

I had posted a picture of me in a bikini on a dating site. A guy wrote to me and said with that kind of picture I was going to get nothing but perverts or psychos writing to me. So I answered, "Ok, so then, which one are you?" –Cami


We fell in love with Cami right away. She confided in us, saying, “After I turned 40, I stopped comparing myself to other women. I finally ‘got it’ that I'm me, flaws and all, and I'm more than okay with me just the way I am.” It certainly helps that what she is is a stunning beauty with a self-confessed feisty side and a wonderfully introspective intelligence that has given her a golden outlook on life.

She’s absolutely comfortable in her own skin and exudes confidence. So much so that she entered the world of modeling and acting at a time when most women are leaving the business. And unsurprisingly she’s found herself in demand. Her attitude is absolutely compelling, and we suspect she’d find success in whatever endeavor she put her mind to. And fortunately for us, she put her mind to being March’s Urbancougar of the Month!

On to the Q&A!


So you're feisty. Can you give us an example?

I guess it just means I don't put up with any BS from anyone anymore...lol!  For instance, if I suspect a guy is lying to me, I let him hang himself—I have my ways of finding out—and then I call him on it right away and see what he has to say for himself.  Then he gets kicked to the curb...;)

Another example: I was on a dating site and I had an older guy write to me complaining about the age range of the guys I'm seeking, which is usually younger than me. Well, I noticed that the guy complaining was seeking women younger than him, so I wrote him back and said that there was no difference in my age range from his. He wrote back and had to admit that I was right.

Another time, I had posted a picture of me in a bikini on a dating site. A guy wrote to me and said with that kind of picture I was going to get nothing but perverts or psychos writing to me. So I answered him with, "Ok, so then, which one are you?"  It’s just my feisty sense of humor, I guess. I definitely speak my mind, but I don't take things too seriously anymore when it comes to stuff like that.

You mention you've been doing some modeling in recent years. What inspired you to get into modeling?

I really didn't start modeling until I was over 40. My long-time boyfriend and I had broken up and I was taking the stress out by working out a lot and lost some weight and let my hair grow longer, mainly because after he left, I couldn't afford to go get it professionally done that often during that time. And I needed to make some extra money so I posted a couple of pictures of me that a friend of mine took on a modeling site to see what would happen. I was really shocked when I got so many responses from photographers who wanted to work with me.  It’s hard work, but it’s also a lot of fun. After that I got noticed by a casting director on myspace and started doing some acting. I really love the acting too.

Do you feel the public's interest in cougars has helped your modeling career?

The public's new interest in cougars has definitely helped my modeling career and hopefully will open up even more opportunities for me.  I was recently asked to audition for a reality show about cougars, but I declined because I'm not sure I want to do the reality show thing.  I'm pretty serious about my acting and modeling and don't want to make light of it.  I think it’s really great that the industries are accepting older women more and more now in the modeling and acting world.  It used to be that a woman was done by the time she was 35 to 40 and now, its nice to still be treated as a positive commodity at any age. Hopefully, me being on your site will help open even more opportunities, so thank you for asking me to be a part of it all!

How does it make you feel when you're approached by a younger man?

Well, truthfully, I've been approached by younger men most of my life, but it still feels great.

Do you think they're surprised when you tell them your age?

Oh, they are definitely surprised and shocked when I tell them my age. A lot of times they make me prove it by showing my ID. It’s very flattering.

What differences have you found in dating a younger man versus a man your own age or older?

I guess the biggest difference is that the younger man is usually in better shape and definitely wants to go out more and have fun. I'm not a party animal, but I'm definitely not a homebody all the time either. Not to say that men my age aren't all that; it really has nothing to do with age.  I would date a guy of any age as long as he has a good attitude, takes care of himself, and treats me well, still wants to have some fun, and there's an attraction there.

Has your outlook on life changed since you embraced your inner cougar?

I really think I have embraced my inner cougar for a long time now and the public is finally catching up and that is the great part.  After I turned 40, I stopped comparing myself to other women. I finally "got it" that I'm me, flaws and all, and I'm more than okay with me just the way I am. In fact, I finally embraced my heritage and that I have a different look as well.  When I was growing up, I wanted to have blonde hair and blues eyes like all of my friends, but now I'm really happy that I have a very unique look.  Its kind of been a doubly positive thing for me. It’s finally "in" to be ethnic and over 40, and that's just fabulous!

Any advice for your fellow cougars out there?

Just keep embracing your "cougarness." I know a cougar typically is viewed as an older woman who dates younger men and while I do date men younger than me, personally, my view of a cougar really has nothing to do with the men. To me its any woman who is 40+ who won't allow age to be a barrier to being sexy, confident, beautiful, and vibrant!!! And accomplishing anything she sets out to do...no matter what her age is!!!

This is my favorite quote I borrowed from my best friend...its quite beautiful and I think it is an inspiration to all cougars, and really, everyone out there!

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us and often those close to us. We ask ourselves 'who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is in us. It's not just in some people; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson


Visit Cami on myspace.