Genus: Ursus Amerigo

Common Name: American Cub

The American Cub is an eager, entrepreneurial sort, hell-bent for pleasure. The living embodiment of his great nation, he’s overly self-confident and a touch self-absorbed but equally capable of grand selfless gestures and the occasional heroic deed. It’s this confidence and sense of purpose that contributes to his enduring charm.

Among his defining characteristics:

Style: Varies greatly from nattily-attired businessman to faux-East Village hipster. Most commonly seen in an ensemble bought in its entirety from Banana Republic.

Health Regimen: Incessant weightlifting and jogging, intramural sports, BBQ and excessive drinking of Budweiser

Political Views: Apathy







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