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Ask Lucia
In this installment of Ask Lucia, a reader takes serious issue with Lucia's previous advice (and Lucia herself) and Lucia doesn't hold back! What do you think?Got your own question for Lucia, ask her now at askanexpert@urbancougar.com.
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Dear Lucia,
I can't believe your advice to Nancy. She has to be 40ish and she's dating her 17 year old daughter's friends! Her older daughter hit the nail on the head. She is pathetic and embarrassing and can't find guys her own age that want anything to do with her.
I would have asked her why she can't find men in her appropriate age range. She says they have "a lot in common" which certainly shows her level of maturity. But since you see yourself as some type of "cougar" I guess you feel that your advice is warranted as it justifies your lifestyle.
Maybe Nancy can find a 19 year old for you as well, you should ask her. I should start asking my teenage niece to set me up with her friends as I'm in awesome shape and only 50, if it's all about what makes me feel good, right? I'm sure we'd have lots to talk about. I'm picturing a 19 year old boy on a date, holding hands with someone his mom's age. The scenario is ridiculous, as well as it would be for me to be on a date with a teenager. I have to wonder what his issues are when he would date someone that old instead of a hottie his own age, but we've all heard of the Oedipus Complex.
Grow up, Nancy. You have two daughters and need to be their role model, not competing for their dates.
R.B.
Dear R.B.,
When people talk about finding love, they use the word soul mate, not age mate. This is because what we are all seeking is a deep connection on a soul level, and a soul is ageless and timeless. It doesn’t depend on chronological age.
Antiquated, narrow minded, outdated, unenlightened, useless, non-progressive and judgmental 20th century thinking such as yours is one of the main reasons older women who are still young at heart and have a child-like spirit, seek the company of younger men.
My motto has always been, “Live and let live”. I believe you may find life a bit easier if you were to adopt the same attitude.
Lucia
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About Lucia
Lucia is urbancougar.com's resident expert on cougar-cub relationships. To ask her a question, contact her at askanexpert@urbancougar.com.
Host of the popular L.A. radio show, “The Art of Love” and a syndicated advice columnist, Lucia is a renowned cougar relationship expert and former Urbancougar of the Month. She has shared her wisdom on countless radio and television programs including The Tyra Banks Show, E! Entertainment, The KTLA Morning Show, and Playboy Radio. Her book, Lucia’s Lessons in Love, is available for purchase here.
"soul mate, not age mate..." Yes, Lucia. Nobody says it better than you!
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By: dynomite Comments: (443)I dated a woman whose oldest daughter was only 5 years younger than me, I'll be honest I felt a tad uncomfortable for a bit but got over it. One day my mom was in town visiting and we went to the mall. As we were waiting in line a lady who was standing in line with her husband and son, looks at us and with a twinkle in her eye quietly asks my mom if I was her boyfriend. WHAT?! Yikes! My mom laughed and said no that's my son. From this day forth my mom won't let me live that one down. I have to chime in however if I originally was the daughter's friend and then dated her mom I truly believe that is an off limits, "no fly" zone. Because in the end it leaves the daughter in the middle in case things go sour in the relationship.
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By: Captain Confidence Comments: (29)Lucia, I must SAY you are so eloquesnt in your word's and handled this piece of mail with such class. As it was rather a "Judgement" and indeed your right it is NOT an age mate~ but rather perhaps a soul-mate or soul connection! Live and let live So nicely spoken as "The the Beatles would say" I suppose as well as the Captain said. IF it involved "my daughter or son" There I would step away as I would not want to DO anything to jepordize my relationship with my family for any "Self fulfilling" sense of enjoyment at the risk of affecting my most loving relationship's to my Children no matter what age they are, they will always be "Your children" Other then that YOU are 100% right! Bravo.. well spoken.
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By: WildFlower Comments: (16)