On safari for love: For urban cougars, the hunter has turned prey
The Windsor Star
Monday, July 4, 2005
Page: A5
Section: News
Byline: Jordan Press
Column: Social Butterfly
Source: Windsor Star
EDITOR'S NOTE: Names have been changed to protect the innocent, except the
reporter, who's guilty as sin.
The cougar's lair is a dangerous place.
As the hunter enters, he must be careful not to arouse the stiletto-clad
beast. After all, the cougar is one of the most dangerous predators on the
planet. It can smell young meat from a distance and will attack with speed
and cunning, even when the joint is filled with disco rejects and the
cover band is thrashing your eardrums.
Radar fine-tuned, I make my move on Nina and Vanessa.
Through the cacophony of cover songs and drunk rumblings from people twice
my age, I strain to hear Nina, 43, describe her last relationship. She
dated a man eight years her junior. Younger men vex the high school
teacher: In the classroom she can't stand them, but once they get older
than 25, all that insanity torques her crank.
"I don't like training them," she says. "Just using them."
I ask Nina - a brunette who sucks on her Koko-Pellies martini straw when
she's not toying with her crimped hair - if she is a cougar.
Nina nods and says yes.
I run Nina's vitals through my urbancougar.com database:
NINA
Classification: North American Cougar (Feline Americanus)
Description: "Fast-growing breed of cougar. ... Not afraid to test common
Puritan stereotypes" and "finding that their advances are not long in
coming."
I've hit the jackpot.
Normally a predatory creature, the cougar has now become the hunted. More
and more young men are stalking cougars as the concept of dating an older
woman becomes mainstream.
"Now it is very much led by the younger men," says Valerie Gibson, a
Toronto-based columnist, self-professed cougar and the author of the
definitive - and only - volume on how to be a cougar. "It's fun to see
(young men) seeing themselves as hunters and us as the prey. It's a
relatively new business.
"If you're talking to cougars, they do not have to be predatory at all.
These young men will approach them."
This new twist on the ancient art of seduction can catch cougars looking
like the proverbial deer caught in headlights - historically the fate of
the cougar prey.
"The guys that have been caught up in the lifestyle are going out looking
for these types of women," says one of the co-founders of
urbancougar.com. "Sometimes these women don't even know what hit them."
I was hoping to do just that on my hunt.
At the Beer Market, I make eye contact from the bar with an attractive
blond. I think she has already figured out where I rank on
urbancougar.com.
JORDAN
Classification: Summer intern
Description: "The buff college stud who spends all day in the office doing
your mundane work and spends all night waxing your ass."
I've followed the tips Gibson gave me.
-
Rule No. 1: Check for a wedding ring.
-
Rule No. 2: Don't look trashy -- look more refined and mature.
-
Rule No. 3: Hunting a cougar is more difficult than your average hook-up,
so you'll have to work harder.
With this in mind, I waltz over and begin chatting with Heather and her
two friends.
As the conversation goes on, I focus on Heather, the single blond, who's
wearing all black. Her tank top has skinny straps that slightly reveal her
black bra. Her lips blaze hot pink. She sports a thick necklace with a
cross dangling above her breasts.
HEATHER
Classification: Hard to ascertain, but most likely a cross between a
graduated Cougar-in-Training (CIT) and a Canadian Cougar, also known as
the "Maple Leaf."
Description: "If you're lucky, she's of the Pamela Anderson variety. But
you're probably not that lucky."
But luck is on my side. The CIT is not old enough to be an actual cougar,
but shows "an interest in younger men, a ravenous sexual appetite, and an
(indifference) to marriage and other conventional romantic institutions,"
according to urbancougar.com.
Most cougars are not looking for a husband. They're in it for the hot sex
and good conversations, Gibson says. However, many cougar matches end with
a union, she says. Plus, dating an older woman is a way to see the world
without having to go beyond the bar.
"What younger men see is that these are women who are sexually skilled . .
. and basically (they) get the package younger women haven't grown into,"
Gibson says. "It's the Mrs. Robinson thing - this lovely woman who's going
to show me the world."
Intriguing. Especially because, like Nina, Heather is a teacher.
Heather says she'll date men of all ages, but the 33-year-old Libra perks
up a bit when I mention I'm only 23. After a good 20 minutes of
conversation, Heather and her two friends announce they're heading to 29th
Park. Heather tells me I could drop by later.
I don't, but her invitation means the cougar has the scent of prey and
waiting to pounce. It has been a successful hunt.
Now for a cold shower.
